Hank’s Amazing Adventures!!!

Part Five

Hank

Hank was busy reading “Romeo and Juliet” on a fine Thursday afternoon.

“Shucks,” thought Hank, “I think Sam should have at least tried the green eggs and ham.”

Little did Hank know that he wasn’t reading “Romeo and Juliet” also, Sam was nowhere to be found in the piece Hank was reading. What Hank had really, miraculously, gotten his hands on was his mission folder. This time his mission would be one fraught with peril, with danger around every corner, but more importantly, he was going to be able to hear stuff again. Hank waited for what seemed like years, actually, it was years. Four years to be exact. Finally, the object fell from the sky. This time it was different, it was a suit worn by the legendary bounty hunter, “Samus Aran”.

Hank felt a tremendously warm sensation as he urinated on his own. Hank was unable to urinate on his own for the past ten years. Hank could now see by sonar but was still unable to move any easier than last time.

“This,” Hank thought, “Makes me wanna get funky.”

Hank heard what he knew was his objective. He heard the words “I hate this episode” and immediately began wheeling his way there. Not even the Pacific Ocean could stop him from reaching his objective. As he wheeled closer he recognized the voice as a male’s.

“I think I hate the Twilight Zone.” Hank heard.

Hank wheeled faster and faster, he was closer than ever, the sound was almost next to him.

“I wonder where the lettuce is.” Hank heard.

The ground around Hank was very uneven and felt as thought there had been a large battle here. Hank wheeled stealthily inside the building where the sound was emanating from. Hank found his objective. It was a female no bigger than a footstool.

“Ah, s-s-s-s-s-sor-r-r-r-ry-y-y-y wr-r-rong h-h-h-h-house.” Hank stuttered.

“What the FUCK is THAT?!” Screamed the woman.

“I’m H-H-H-H-H-H-Hank. P-P-P-P-P-P-Pleased to m-m-m-m-m-meet you.” Hank stammered.

“Well I’m Jill. Hank, was it? That sounds awfully similar to the name of that guy I stole blood from to give to the outer space race of “Egnaro” to make Frank… Ah, shit the suits sent you to.” Was all Jill managed to say before Hank blew her to pieces. Little, tiny, bite-size pieces. ‘Cause she was so small. Get it?

FWARGH!